so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
