and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
