you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
