i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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