I have demons in me.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
