i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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