I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
