did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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