Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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