woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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