craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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