its not stalking. its research.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
