She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
