Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
