Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
