He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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