how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
