So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
