The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
