I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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