Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Randomize
