Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
