So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
