imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
