Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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