I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
