How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
