I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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