If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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