no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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