Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
