my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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