i think my tv is drunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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