He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
