You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
