That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
