Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
