I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
