I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
you never un-have a 4some
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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