hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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