I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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