you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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