yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
