is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
