i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
