She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
