Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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