I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
