My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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