are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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